Things. It seems I have spent a lifetime researching, and then buying – things. It begins innocently enough – you are young. You don’t have much money. You want to get the most for your money. So you are wise, and shop for the best buys, on the best things – things that will not break soon, things that will bring you pleasure (you hope! – because you are certainly spending your time working hard for these things!). Cheap. Good stuff, cheap. That became the motto. Then one day you realize, you are happiest when you are with people, sharing experiences…wisdom…laughing at your shared foibles, or the foibles of others, though you are not making fun of them, or looking down. It is just that the shared foibles of humanity can be – funny! And laughter is certainly enjoyable! Maybe when you are with some people, or all people some of the time, you are helping them up from their unhappiness in some way. Not just by laughing, but by other means. There are so many hurting people. People in physical pain, people in spiritual pain – some wondering why the “things” they worked so hard for, and believed in for so long, did not bring them happiness. They look at you, and see you have many fine things, and perhaps still have your health. And they think – if I could just have what he/she has – good, fine things, health – I would be happy. But you know better – just being healthy in body and having plenty of things does NOT make you happy – at least not at the level you had hoped for. Look at the Biblical Solomon. He had all the things and blessings he could want (yes, God deliberately blessed him!), and still it did not bring him happiness – “vanity, all vanity,” he proclaimed. “Vanity[b] of vanities, says the Preacher, vanity of vanities! All is vanity.” Ecclesiastes 1:2 He says it right up front in his treatise, but not until the back end of his life. And then, at the “back end” of your life, there is another generation coming up, arising. And they look to you for wisdom. How to live life. How to be happy. And perhaps they can see no purpose to life. What’s it all for? Why are we here? And you try to explain. But somehow, the big dreams and hopes for life that you had when you were young, that it seems we all have or had when we were young, just didn’t come to pass. Sure, we helped some people here and there – but not the great spiritual harvest we’d hoped for. A plum here, a grape there, sprouting out of the Great Vine some of us know we are attached to and which can bring so much life and joy, peace and happiness. But even that Great Vine knows, and tells us, we could have had so much more. More joy, more peace, more fruit – great large harvests in abundance. But we just – didn’t. Why not? I’m thinking lately, when the “stuff” of life we’d hoped for didn’t come to pass, and our minds were still active, and looking for something to do – and there were immediate needs in front of us – always – fires to put out, “things” to buy or attend to, etc. – we may have just opted to keep searching out the things we were familiar with. Good stuff, cheap. Just different stuff. New stuff. Stuff to keep us occupied, but not necessarily happy. There was the primary stuff to research first as young adults – what to major in at college, what to do for work. What house to buy (usually after who to marry – not so much a “thing” as a “who”). What things would furnish our house or apartment best for our own happiness. And, of course, to impress others or even just express ourselves – we are, after all, creative beings designed for expression and companionship with others, and so we envision sharing our “stuff” and enjoying it with others, and showing off who we are, via our “stuff.“ Then as we bore children, the next generation grew up, and we had to keep on top of all the “kid” things – the stuff of health matters to keep them growing well, the best toys to keep them entertained and educated, the best Summer camps, the best clothing buys, the best schools, the best religious instruction, the “best things”….on and on. Why? Because THESE precious beings we definitely loved, and cared deeply about, and to do our part raising them, we had to stay on top of…”things.” And they learned that “things,” and staying on top of them, were very important. Or…maybe some of them simply learned that things DIDN’T bring satisfaction. Rich in some things, they searched for others. Leave the “keeping on top of – things” to someone else. Someone who is used to doing that, and who is skilled at doing that sort of “thing.” Someone who seems to value those “things.” Now, some of us find ourselves looking back, and thinking – where did the time go? I seem to have spent so much of my life “researching,” shopping for, and buying the best “things” – that is not what I intended! I had much higher intents and purposes for my life. Now, there is the smaller slice of our life’s pie graph left to be lived, and for most of us, we want to live it right – what’s left of it. We want to really taste and enjoy our “piece of the pie.” So….I (we?) find myself asking (I’ll just speak for myself here) – what’s “the next best thing”?

“Believe & Receive” or “Expect & Collect”?

I’ve been pondering the “Believe & Receive” philosophy again lately. I have a friend who says she’s been believing & expecting very diligently for an outpouring of blessings from God, but lately has seen nothing but sorrow & bad news in her life. She is wondering how long she has to keep believing & expecting before she sees a breakthrough. She is in a period of trial…indeed, it has been a long one. I have many friends who are going through long trials. I bought someone a plaque once that says “Trying times are times to try more faith.” True. But does that mean just believe you’re going to get what you want from God? What ARE we to put our faith in, after all? A specific outcome (yes, ask!) or the goodness of our God? I believe God is good & wants to bless us. He responds to our prayers. But I do not believe that it is simply how much belief or expectation we have in the cash register of God that causes people to receive or not receive His blessings, financial or otherwise. I do expect good things from my good God. But when people start to look at God as a cosmic Santa Claus who will grant their every wish, & not as a very personal Being who wants a relationship with them, then I think we have gone astray. Part of what bothers me, is the wording. “Believe & Receive” is a little bit deceiving, pardon the rhyming – sometimes that just happens ;-). But we do not decide what God wants to give us. We cannot just simply expect to give Him our Christmas wish list & have it granted – & when it is not, think it’s just because of our lack of faith. Sometimes “Believe & Receive” sounds more like “Expect & Collect.” We can believe & expect good from God, but what He deems good might not be exactly what we ordered. I think as long as we leave the final decision to God & don’t think it is the amount of OUR faith in, or the strength of our expecting a certain outcome that is important, we will probably be alright. I think the key here is in our knowing that God is good & wants to bless us as believers, & that God wants our faith to be put in HIM & HIS goodwill & good judgment. I think that is the important thing. May we believe & trust our Heavenly Father as we go our way today!

“I Need Thee Every Hour”

You know our church has been doing this 40-day lab thing as a daily assignment. The church sends us a text every day for 40 days to suggest an “assignment” to do that day, as an individual. This “mission, should we choose to accept it” ;-), is done with the intent to draw us closer to God. What is it about 40 days? We’re doing the “40-day Lab” even as we study Moses and the children of Israel, and their ultimate choice not to enter the Promised Land. The twelve representatives from the tribes of Israel who went into Canaan, spied out the land for a full 40 days before returning to tell Israel they didn’t believe Israel could take the land. Oh, two representatives said surely they could, with the help of God. But the masses chose the fear and unbelief of the other 8 men, which led to 40 years aimlessly wandering in the wilderness. That generation was judged by God to have to die there in the wilderness, and leave the next generation to have their chance to enter the Promised Land. By the way, did you know that, as old as they were by the end of the 40 years wandering, those faithful, believing “spies” (Caleb and Joshua) did, indeed enter the Promised Land and help take it with the younger generation? Joshua, in fact, acted as Moses’ successor as leader of the Israelites!
But back to that ubiquitous “40 day” period of time that is found so often in the Bible. Jesus spent 40 days in the wilderness, and then 40 days back on earth after His death and resurrection before He finally arose into Heaven. Noah waited it out 40 days and nights while it rained and flooded the Earth. Moses was up on the mountain top receiving the law and commandments from God for 40 days. There’s definitely something special about the number 40 all through the Bible! I’ve heard that it is the number of completion.
I also used to hear that it took about 21 days to a month to break a bad habit or form a new one. That seems to be a myth, started by a 1960 study by a plastic surgeon named Maxwell Maltz, who found that it usually took 21 days for a patient to get used to their new face, or for an amputee to adjust to losing a limb. Then in 2009, a psychological health researcher named Dr. Philippa Lally did a study at UCL (I had to do a little research myself to learn that stood for University College London), that showed that, depending on the difficulty of the change of habit, it could take anywhere from 18 to 254 days for a new habit to become automatic, with an average of 66 days. All this to say, that maybe doing a little extra “homework” for these 40 days will remind our congregation members (myself included) to include God more regularly in their weekly, and especially DAILY, schedule – to check in with Him more regularly throughout their days!

Still, even after participating fairly regularly in the “40-day lab” I’m still stuck with the feeling of needing to be MORE filled up daily. I guess you could say I need to partake of my daily bread from God, or else I will find myself turning to lesser gods, just as the Israelites did, even though God fully provided for their every need. What lesser gods you may ask? Well, I’ll wait till later to tell you some of mine. I think we all have our “lesser gods,” though – our idols. Things that we turn to for fulfillment INSTEAD of our God. Usually they are not such things as carved images or golden calves. But if we turn to something for our spiritual or emotional nourishment besides the Lamb of God, the Bread of Life – the person of Jesus Christ, God Himself…if we turn, not in addition to, but INSTEAD of God, we have then made these lesser things a type of idol – a “god” to us (which is a sin).

Back to the Israelites and their faults and lacks. I think I’d rather look at their sins for a while instead of my own! God had already proved His miracle-working ability to free them from the Egyptians, even providing for their future by having the previous slave-owner Egyptians give them their gold and jewelry for the journey as the Israelites departed! The Israelites saw personally how, after Pharaoh regretted having let them all go free, and came after them with his chariots and soldiers –God used Moses and his staff held up in the air, to then part the Red Sea for the Israelites. But God rescinded His orders, and covered over the Egyptians with the water when they tried to follow the Israelites on the dry seabed.

Still – like me – the Israelites soon forgot God’s care for them. They evidently were not feeling filled up in the desert- even WITH their daily manna and miraculously mined water provision (from a rock!). They felt the need for something more. With me, it is usually the intangible things I crave: feelings…of love…significance. And I wonder if that’s not what the early Israelites might have craved as well. And maybe it was available to them, if they’d only looked at what all God was doing for them, and had listened to what Moses had told them of God’s great love for them and His watchful eye over them. After all, God showed Himself present to them by a pillar of fire by night and a cooling cloud by day. I’m sure being homeless, so to speak, and always on the move the wandering Israelites longed for a sense of place – of home – of security. And had they followed courageously and with faith God’s call into the Promised Land, they would have HAD a permanent home. It’s just that….well…like us, they wanted – maybe expected – it to be a lot easier! After all, they were informed there were giants in the land – an enemy they’d have to fight and conquer before dwelling safely in a land of their own. They would have had to battle the very giants they had heard the 12 spies report about. And they felt “like grasshoppers” compared to them!

Little did they (or do we) realize how BIG God would continue to prove on their (and our) behalves. And that’s where it takes faith…a firm and continuing relationship with God Almighty based on whom He has already proven Himself to be to them – and to us – in the past.

Just last night I found out that a very dear friend of mine from Arlington, a neighbor where I used to live, took her own life. After a severe and long battle with loneliness, unforgiveness and depression, she gave in to her giants of alcohol and drugs. That battle to be free of her addictions again at this point in her life seemed too much of a giant to her, and forgiving those who had wronged her during the middle years of her life seemed too hard for her. Returning to church also seemed too much, and she felt like only a grasshopper, so she ended it all. My friend was a Christian – she HAD Christ…but she had turned away from Him into bitterness and unforgiveness, and it eventually cost her her very life. I know God has forgiven her and wrapped His loving arms around her, and she is now free from the bondage of unforgiveness, as well. But it was never the life God had planned for his daughter on earth. His plans for every one of His children are for good, and not for evil. But we must follow Christ and HIS way, and not return to ourselves. In the end, I believe my friend was full of faith in her Father for a better life – for herself, for her own forgiveness and redemption in Heaven. But now it is her two sons, her ex-husband and her friends and family who will have to pay – to suffer.

God would always be faithful to the Israelites – and to us – if they, and we, would just step out in trust of Him – over and over again. It was never “blind faith” that God required. He had given them plenty of proof – of evidence – of who He was. But God is not predictable and “manageable” – like the gods the Israelites had made for themselves. When they wondered if Moses was ever going to return to lead them again (it was, after all, 40 long days and nights he was up there), they made the choice to quit and turn back to what they thought they could predict – dead as it was! A dead so-called “god” they themselves had given Aaron their gold rings and such to fashion! Their “golden calf.” They surely could have waited a little longer, even though they were not told in advance how long Moses would be gone. But the Bible says the presence of God was on top of Mt. Horeb (another name for Mt. Sinai, the holy mountain of God) and it appeared to them as a fire. Could they not still see the fire? Were they not aware God’s presence was still there…”right in plain view?” And yet, they gave up waiting, and asked Moses’ brother, Aaron, to fashion a golden calf for them! And they got up the next day to act improperly toward it and most likely toward each other – worshiping and glorifying it with sacrifices, and then proceeding to party wildly, as was the custom of people NOT affiliated with the one, true God.

Sometimes I am tempted like they were to put myself, my ways, my wants at the center of my life – substituting my plans and actions for God’s plan for me. God WILL fill us up daily if we look to Him. Jesus IS our daily manna. And we long to experience Him. But we have to trust Him. We have to take time to get to know Him, and remember what He’s done, and Who He is. And I think we pretty much have to obey what He asks of us to live happily and in harmony with Him on this earth. And, like Jesus explained, God will come to us and make His home with us and even “sup” with us! (John 14:23 and Rev. 3:20). Surely THAT would satisfy our emotional needs, and also our need for significance.

But there is a condition with that promise. Of course God is always present with us as believers. But there is more. We need to access Him, His love, His Spirit. Or we will feel dry, left out, wandering in a wilderness. In John 14:23, one of the disciples questioned Jesus about how He would make Himself manifest to them, and not the world after He “went away.” They may or may not have realized that meant He was going to die. Jesus replied, “If anyone loves Me he will keep My word, and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make our home with him.” Elsewhere, when someone asked Jesus what IS the will of God, He replied that the will of God is to believe on Him whom He had sent (Jesus Himself). And to believe on Him means not just the one-time belief where we put our faith in Jesus. That is not all that God wants of us for the rest of our lives, after we have believed. For salvation, that is it, as I understand the Word – trust Jesus for your salvation instead of trusting in ourselves and our own so-called “good works.” Really KNOW our own need, our sinfulness and turn to God for salvation and a right standing with God. But, for the rest of our lives as believers, God gives us many other instructions, and to be truly content and not ill-at-ease with God, feeling apart from Him, God wants us to continue in His Word…all of His words. His instructions come to us through His many words to us in the Bible and can come directly to our spirits, as well. And they are always for our good, and the good of others. However, I think it is not so much that we don’t know what God wants of us daily, as it is that we are reluctant to do it at times! And so….I think we, like the Israelites, get restless, looking to other sources for the happiness and contentment that SHOULD be ours at all times by staying in His will. I know I often try to substitute food, or shopping, or entertainment, or even service to others, for the true feeling of God’s peace and approval, when I am feeling “not quite full.” And yet, Jesus has promised to fill us and satisfy us with Himself. He is always with us. We just aren’t always “with Him”!

Three of our church’s 40-day lab assignments have had to do with setting timers every hour to check in with God – ask Him for help, thank Him, and see how we’ve been spending our time…if we’ve been acknowledging Him. One assignment said to spend one minute contemplating God when that timer went off every hour. Well I guess that should aid in our connecting with Christ. It helped me be more conscious of His presence with me throughout the day (and consequently, I became aware of how much I daily neglect to acknowledge that Presence with me and be nourished by Him – by His closeness throughout my day). There is an old hymn, “I Need Thee Every Hour.” You may remember singing it. But do we live like that? Do we live like we need God every hour? I don’t think so. I think we would rather look to what is the next venture or experience that will build us up, put us at the center and make us our own gods. For we think somehow that will make us feel better. Well, sorry, friends, that’s just not God’s plan! He will fill us up, but we will have to look to Him and obey what He says in order to enter that “promised land” of contentment. Do we act like we need Him every hour? Do we live reliant on, open to, and obedient to Him EVERY hour? Do we, really? Could we? I think if God has promised us fulfillment in Him, we certainly have the ability to fulfill the necessary steps to receive it! May we all find that happy rest in this lifetime, and not just wait for it to come in the next. Amen.

We may be diamonds in the rough, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still sparkle)

We humans are such a conglomerate … We have so many lovely characteristics and beautiful sides, and so many flaws and faults. I am so glad our Lord chooses to ignore our faults when He picks who he is going to use to serve Him, and focuses on the blessings we bring to others instead :-).

Lunch – with a small side of guilt.

Lunch… with a small side of guilt. So here’s the way lunch went down today. Actually went down pretty well – yum :-). I get up and think, what is a nice warm lunch I can fix on this freezing cold day? Hand pot pie, that sounds delicious – vegetarian, too. So I open the fridge and what do I see but one last piece of leftover cauliflower crust pizza. Must finish it off. On the Myers-Briggs personality test I am a “J” after all :-). Although others disagree. They might be right. The jury is still out on that one. Then for some strange reason I check Instagram on my phone. My fitness instructor has posted a beautiful picture of what appears to be a chocolate superfood shake. It looks like it has bananas or whipped cream or something yummy on top. I think… actually since I had nothing but coffee and warm food this morning, something cold might be good right now. I wish I hadn’t bought that ice cream for the sister party. But I might as well finish it off, my husband won’t, he thinks it gives him a headache. I will do the honors. Oh, this is cold. Let’s microwave it. Mmmmmm. I wish I had more ice cream! And there you have it.

CONGRATULATIONS!

CONGRATULATIONS! God has brought two lovely people together. And since I’m sure this is a “match made in Heaven” between two wonderful & godly people, you will probably not need much, if any, advice. Every marriage is different, & my first & (should be only) advice to someone just getting married &/or having kids for the first time, is to seek the Lord’s wisdom & custom-tailored advice in every situation. But since I am wordy & do not seem to have any brevity in my soul, I am going to pass on the very little wisdom (more practical than wise, really) that I have gleaned from my own years of marriage & child-rearing (if that blessing should come to you!). If you find you do not need it, maybe you can pass on whatever seems reasonable to couples you know who are getting married &/or planning to have kids. So, in no particular order, except that this is how it came to me as I was pondering my own marriage & child-rearing, here tis:
1) Learn to parent pets together before kids.
2) Regarding said pets, if you have a cat/cats, buy a PetSafe self-cleaning litter box on sale over Black Friday weekend, & you will only have to clean litter once/week.
3) Find a good super-glue & you will find that most anything can be glued back together – except feelings. People first, pets next, (maybe plants next, since they, too, are living things) & things last. Things really don’t matter that much in the scheme of things.
4) Try to find a place (eventually, if it seems good to you) that has a kitchen & a closet big enough for two. Or – be sweet! Be sweet, either way ;-).
5) Of course, there is the time-honored tradition of dating your spouse. To which I add my, “yes!” But I will say, if finances are tight, once a week is really not necessary, although it is best. And when/if you get a babysitter, hopefully you can find a nice responsible teen who will work cheap! ‘Cuz these days most don’t, & you will want their services often through the years! You can make it up to them in other ways. Be their life-long friend.
6) If (many years down the line, & hopefully never!) you ever start taking your spouse for granted, & are not as in awe of them & enamored with every little thing about them as you are now…make sure you have a small group or other situations where you can see each other “in action” with other people. Sometimes we don’t act our best for each other at home. When you see your spouse interacting with others in public, it might remind you what a wonderful and charming person they are, and why you fell for them in the first place.
7) If you have kids – PLEASE don’t make Mom (who usually has more time and hands-on experience with them) always be the “bad-cop.” Your child will fall for this ploy and prefer their Dad for a time, thinking he is always nice and Mom seems to be mean all the time. Not fair! ‘Nuff said.
8) Again, a reminder that God has the custom-tailored answer to each of your problems, which may not look the same as His answers for others. Seek the Lord and look to Him for solutions that are designed just for you.
9) Never buy white carpet. I think that is self-explanatory. In fact, my current house (and my third house with kid) has tile floor – a beautiful beige “Italian” tile, supposedly, that has indentations and marks in it, and that perfectly hides all manner of dirt, pet hair, etc. Not that I don’t clean, mind you – but who really wants to slave away all the time just keeping up a house? Wood floors also worked well. Just sayin’ – if you get tile, your plates WILL break as soon as they hit the floor.
10) (I’m sorry, I never could figure out how to redo the “indents” system when this happens. #notthebestsecretarybutmyheartsintherightplace. On the topic of housekeeping, keep a clean house, but have a room you can “dump” stuff in for parties or other company, which I assume you will be hosting at some time ;-). Have your company over in the evening, when you can turn the lights down low. Light candles, and close off that one room – unless, of course, your guest will be sleeping in that room, in which case – big closets! Now you know my secrets :-o. I am overly honest, if anything, because most women I know seem to feel the same way – mostly. Now my sister-in-law’s in-laws even vacuum the dog, but then again, they might not get invited over as much as other people ;-). every little thing about them as you are now…make sure you have a small group or other situations where you can see each other “in Mom (who usually has more time and hands-on experience with them) always be the “bad-cop.” Your child will fall for this ploy and prefer their Dad for a time, thinking he is always nice and Mom seems to be mean all the time. Not fair! ‘Nuff said.
8) Again, a reminder that God has the custom-tailored answer to each of your problems, which may not look the same as His answers for others. Seek the Lord and look to Him for solutions that are designed just for you.
9) Never buy white carpet. I think that is self-explanatory. In fact, my current house (and my third house with kid) has tile floor – a beautiful beige “Italian” tile, supposedly, that has indentations and marks in it, and that perfectly hides all manner of dirt, pet hair, etc. Not that I don’t clean, mind you – but who really wants to slave away all the time just keeping up a house? Wood floors also worked well. Just sayin’ – if you get tile, your plates WILL break as soon as they hit the floor.
10) (I’m sorry, I never could figure out how to redo the “indents” system when this happens. #notthebestsecretarybutmyheartsintherightplace. On the topic of housekeeping, keep a clean house, but have a room you can “dump” stuff in for parties or other company, which I assume you will be hosting at some time ;-). Have your company over in the evening, when you can turn the lights down low. Light candles, and close off that one room – unless, of course, your guest will be sleeping in that room, in which case – big closets! Now you know my secrets :-o. I am overly honest, if anything, because most women I know seem to feel the same way – mostly. Now my sister-in-law’s in-laws even vacuum the dog, but then again, they might not get invited over as much as other people ;-). 11) Also, re: parties: Costco & Aldi. Because you will need a lot of good, “easy” entertaining food, & in mass quantities (unless you choose not to).
12) Holidays – try to visit both sets of parents/families as often as you can. They don’t live forever, unfortunately. However, I will say, after at MOST three years old, you should put your foot down & tell them you will not be bringing the first grandchild to visit four times a year.
13) Disneyworld is way more fun than the grandparents’ place – usually. However, at 3 ½ years old, while our children will enjoy it, they might not remember it later, & you will have to show them pictures – have the souvenirs to prove they ever went (I am getting a little carried away now, remembering our early days of parenting our one & only 😉 ).
14) If you live in my area of the country (Texas, but in truth, I think this might apply to most areas), I can assure you there are plenty of places to take short (weekend or extended) vacation breaks that won’t break the bank. Driving vacations are a great way to catch up on talking, too, once you get outside the pressures of the city. Many people tend to become so “married” to their jobs that they sometimes forget their first duty is to family. Both job & family will be much happier if family comes first – imho – & from observations along the way.
15) Charge everything to a credit card that gives great rewards (pay it off every month, though!) & you can greatly reduce the costs of your getaways. We use Capitol One Visa, a Hilton rewards American Express (double points on gas, drugstores and groceries) & a Costco Visa (high cash-back rewards). We thus earn free miles, cash or hotel points every time we make a purchase (para-professional shopper here ;-).
16) It’s healthier for kids to be exposed to germs than, say, having the same in-laws’ in-laws’ tactics (who vacuum their dog, see above), & who came to my house with Lysol can in hand, spraying behind them every time they exited the bathroom! Kids (& adults) build their immune systems by exposure, not by hibernating away from every germ in sight (sorry, if any of you is a nurse or related to a nurse, by any chance.) 17) Again, please forgive me if you’re in the medical field and are otherwise persuaded, but from my life-long health research and prayer over my son’s various health-related issues – vaccinate only for diseases you deem worth it. Vaccines contain many hazardous components, and if you compare the number of vaccines given today to the number you had when you were young, you will see it has greatly increased. Try to only do single vaccines at a time, and no more than one/month. In the hospital you may not have a choice, but if you do, let it be known! Our children and babies don’t even HAVE much of an immune system when they are young, and all the various vaccines just confuse them. End of rant.
18) Along the lines of health, agree on a healthy lifestyle, and a healthy diet for both of you (it can be a different diet for each of you, but I have found that extremely difficult to navigate.) Yes, I know “we all gotta’ die sometime.” But, it is the living I am more concerned with. Who wants to live sick? If you do well by your body, you will likely live better longer.
19) Creative discipline is not easy when you are “in the moment.” “Discipline Them, Love Them,” by Betty N. Chase, is an excellent resource for all different manner/modes of discipline for all different manner of children. Of course, I took the semester long course at my church when my only child was 18 and had just left home, because my friends were teaching it and wanted “moral support” for a rather old-school teaching (spanking), which I was happy to give. There are LOTS of good ideas in there besides spanking, and I figure it’s always good to learn where you went wrong (or what you did right), even after most of your parenting years are over. That way you can feel free to scare – um, I mean “advise” – younger, newer parents ;-).
20) Lastly, did I mention, look to the Lord for ALL your needs – He is sure to provide the wisdom and practical answers you need. Single best piece of advice I can give. 21) The Lord loves you more than ANY of us can even know. He will guide, bless, and watch over you in your marriage and parenting, more so if His involvement is invited – and He is PLEASED to do it. He was pleased to provide the right mate (no one is perfect, but we know that already!) for each of you, and He will take great pleasure in watching you love each other well. Blessings, and the ever-perfect Peace of the Lord be with you always!

PS – If you notice me saying things twice (or more) – it is most likely because I am a parent. And a wife. In those circumstances I am afraid repetition is necessary. It might or might not be intentional. Because it very well might be merely habitual at this point. It certainly used to be intentional, even if it was a “win” on the part of the other members of my family and not something I enjoyed doing. “C’est la vie,” (“say the old folks”) – “it goes to show”…well…we’re old, just that!

Marriage Work – “Ya’ Win Some, Ya’ Lose Some” – (or…Spill It)

Marriage Work – “Ya’ win some. Ya’ lose some.” – Got up to make my new delicious (clearance) craft coffee, asked the hubs if he wanted some (a win, in my opinion). “No, I don’t drink coffee.” (Choke…yes, he does!) “Oh, you only make it when it’s really cold out?” “No, I drink it on the weekends… pay attention.” (A lose…in my opinion for BOTH of us). “Oh my gosh, you need to TELL me some things – you are not the Center of my universe….” (Foundering here…felt I needed to explain. So I came up with this lame explanation): “God is.” (And even I had to laugh immediately at that lie.) “No, He’s not, He should be. I am.” (Honesty and transparency are suppose to be wins, right…even if the center of your universe is wrong, right? :-o).

“Flappy Bird – Part II” (condensed version – Chris Freeland)

“Flappy Bird” – Part II. God has given us life to live. He wants us to enjoy it and not have to flap and grab and climb and stomp on other people to get ahead. And He wants us to know why we are living our lives (hopefully for Him and His Kingdom). Sometimes we receive His word and turn around and do the same things over and over again. Although we often have to repeat lessons, just like the Israelites wandering for 40 years in the desert, moving ahead in life generally implies a move forward and not being stationary or only “accomplishing” a lateral move. When we are trying things on for size (life experiences, etc.) and get excited about new opportunities, we should look to God and rejoice in His love for us…and not wait until we have the things we want. They will not satisfy us as much as His love will. Thank you, God, for providing Yourself first, and then the things and the meaningful, fun things to do. Amen.

“Flappy Bird – Part I” – Highly Condensed version (Chris Freeland)

“What if Jesus wants more for you than everything you’ve always wanted?… (In the) Flappy Bird game, all there is is flapping and flying and grabbing as much stuff as you can and destroying as many people as you can and trying to survive as long as you can without crashing… Why? (Kind of) like some of our jobs… Why? We don’t know. But we love it, we are addicted to it. (But) we are tired and frustrated and angry and we don’t know why….Nobody who’s ‘livin’ the dream’ ever seems to know that they are ‘livin’ the dream.’ There’s still something more that they want besides what they’ve always wanted….You can live your life for your own personal castle or you can give your life for a greater Kingdom… How many flappers and climbers and grabbers and slashers and dashers do you remember two thousand years later?…But when you see how Jesus lived and died you see a way to live. You see a way to die. You see a way to live again.” – Chris Freeland (muy condensed version!)

The Art of Marriage Small Groups

Only one chapter (so far), I really disagreed with, and it did cause quite a bit of conflict… Which is why I am now reading the next chapter on conflict (alone, in total quietude), placed conveniently right after the one which caused the conflict. However as I threw the book on the floor and ran to my bedroom during that chapter’s discussion, I had to remind myself, I have a guy who agreed to go to a marriage small group with me…with a church we no longer even attend :-)! Which actually, might even be better :-). Here’s to some creative conflict, and words chosen carefully, speaking the truth in love :-). Notice all the smiley faces here :-)??? 😉

The Beheading…of the Valentine’s Day Roses (or…End Times (Mine) )

It’s time for the annual beheading of the Valentine’s Day roses. I like to spread them out and let them dry and then spray potpourri on them when they stop smelling good (still part of the “waste not, want not” generation, I suppose). I’m not sure I need a whole new batch this big, though – I have three dozen this year, and they don’t exactly disintegrate quickly once they are dried, so I have leftovers from previous years still. What is different this year is that the last several years I have waxed poetic, gotten slightly morose at one point, and possibly identified somewhat with the “dying” roses. Years back, I was heavily identifying with a dying rose bush still in the ground at my previous residence. When they all the sudden resurrected it gave me great hope! (and astonishment). Then I found out that my husband had actually uprooted them and replanted a new rosebush. That is an analogy all its own, but none-the-less you can see the picture, I trust. I used to be a little sad when the roses had to be plucked from the vine, so to speak – and some of them had begun to dry (even mold :-o!) even before they had opened up. You can imagine how one my age might identify slightly with this. Especially if one feels they have missed opportunities in life. But this year is different. I have three dozen of these babies and only a few of them seemed to start to rot on the vine, because – being busy – I had let them dry on the stem longer than I usually do. But there are opportunities in front of me at this point in life that I never saw coming. I am beginning to feel excitement about my life again – three years out from becoming an “empty nester.” I believe I see some light shining on the horizon once more. So…here’s to my newfound hope and my rekindled desire and hope to “do things” in life. For now, I am no longer feeling like a rose left to wither on the vine, unused and unfulfilled. Yay! Thank you Jesus :-).